Jasmine’s Story

Hello, my name is Jasmine Jewell Lindsey and by the saving grace of God, I am here today to tell my story.

I grew up in a Christian home with my mom and step dad in northeast Missouri. I grew up going to church and had a real desire to live for the Lord and to obey and please my parents. Inwardly, I struggled though with big emotions and had no real guidance on how to cope with these big emotions in a healthy way.

I had this voice in my head (the enemy)

constantly telling me that I was a disappointment to my parents, there was something wrong with me, my parents didn’t really love me and nobody cared about me.

There were many other lies that I was told so often that I started to believe that these things were true.

I had little self-worth and began resenting my parents.

I started rebelling more and more through my teen years.

At around age 16 or 17 I started self-harming.

The darkness within me was rapidly growing without me even realizing.

When I was 17, I got into an altercation with my parents after they found the cell phone I had gotten without their knowledge. I had been using it to communicate with people I shouldn’t have been, about things a 17 year old girl should not be involving herself with.

I lost it,

I knew I was in too deep with my lies and sneaking around and living a double life that I was going to be on “lock down” for the remainder of my time at home with my parents until I graduated.

At that time, I felt I had no choice but to leave so I ran away and stayed with some “friends” for a while.

At that point, I began drinking, smoking marijuana, and sleeping around.

I moved in with another family and finished my senior year (surprisingly) because my new found love was partying and getting wasted and doing whatever I wanted all the time.

I was feeding the darkness and still didn’t realize what I was doing to myself.

I completely ran away from God and lived in sin and misery;

just living it up for the next 10 years or so.

I was so lost.

I struggled with depression, other mental illnesses and addiction off and on over the course of my life – after turning away from God and living for myself.

I got into a pretty toxic relationship in 2019,

I got into meth, was drinking everyday, and was dealing with a lot of emotional abuse.

After that relationship ended in a physical altercation, while I was blacked out,

I lost myself completely.

I had become codependent on the toxicity of it all and didn’t know what to do with myself anymore.

I had to be taken to a mental facility because I had literally gone crazy.

During all this I hit my rock bottom,

drunk and crying on the floor,

I cried out to God for help

because I had exhausted every other option and He was all I had left to try.

He graciously made me aware of His presence and in my shame and guilt and sorrow I heard Him tell me to

“lift up my head”

You might think after having that experience that things would get better, but not quite.

I struggled to quit drinking, I had developed a problem with alcohol and I didn’t know how to stop it. One night, I was drunk…again, still hung up on the guy that I had been with. I had been living alone for the first time in a long time. I was depressed. I had lost the privilege of having my kids with me (for a while), due to my drinking and also partly because of my inability to let go of this toxic relationship that had ended (but I couldn’t come to terms with).

I felt so alone and was convinced I couldn’t go on living any longer.

In my drunken stupor, I looked up online how to make a noose, and managed to make one with some rope I had found. I placed it over my head and took off driving to find a tree to hang myself from.

I realized during that drive, crying my eyes out, that it couldn’t end like this.

I couldn’t leave my kids motherless even though I didn’t feel like much of a mother with all the problems I had acquired through my years of reckless living.

I somehow got myself to the same mental facility I had been in a couple months prior, even though I nearly died or could have killed someone else trying to get there (I found myself driving on the wrong side of a dual lane highway at one point).  It was by the grace of God that I made it there safely and nobody else was harmed and checked myself in.

There I was, able to make arrangements to start going to Preferred Family Healthcare (PFH) for therapy and substance abuse treatment.

When I was released I began the journey of healing,

although I had to deal with DFS for a while. For a few months, I was only allowed supervised visits with my kids. Still struggling with alcohol and marijuana and mental health issues off and on, I also got my first DWI in January of 2021.

That was a big wake up call for me.

I started going to Celebrate Recovery in February of 2021

and started going to church that year as well.

I did 120 hours of counseling classes through PFH for my DWI, I kept going to therapy and Celebrate Recovery and finally

took my last drink of alcohol in September of 2021

and smoked my last joint in October of 2021

I said “never again”

I am clean and sober for the first time in a very long time

and now am an active member of my church and help serve at Celebrate Recovery,

I am working the 12 step program and have my kids back.

I have a relationship with Jesus again.

I re-dedicated my life to Jesus in September of 2021.

My struggles with addiction and mental health have steadily declined ever since.

I am no longer on any medications for anything at all

and I have maintained a year clean and sober.

All glory to the most high God!

I am so thankful that he met me with grace and mercy, picked me up out of the pit I had gotten myself into and gave me a second chance at life.

I hope that if you are reading this, you realize that

there is hope in Jesus Christ

and that you are deeply loved and valued.

If He can take a messed up wreck like myself and transform me into a new creation in Him,

He can certainly do that for anyone who calls on Him for help.








Jasmine before, while

using drugs & alcohol.

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