You have a story. We all have a story. This is my story.
Big Daddy Weave, We Are Messengers, and me. Oct. 29, 2017, Sunday evening.
I went by myself.. doing grief alone, a lot. I had even made a post on social media asking if someone would want to go with me. One friend responded, “Maybe,” but then it didn’t work out. I thought our church might bring a group, but no one had time. I can laugh about it now. My family and I had so much support but at this time, it had been over a year since Toby passed.
Before my son died, I would never even consider going to a large event by myself. But after, fear of going alone wasn’t stopping me. I wanted to sing to God and be among believers, even if it meant I had to do it all by myself. And honestly, I think it was better for me at that time. I wanted to be in my own thoughts and meditate in praise. I needed to do it for me. Everyone else in my life didn’t need what I needed. I was searching for a piece of peace, to get through another day.
After the concert was over, if you sponsored a child, through World Vision, you could meet the band.
I walked up to the line and another group of ladies stood behind me. We were there for a minute when I stepped out of line and asked them if they would like to go ahead of me, or maybe I asked if I could get behind them? I don’t remember exactly, I just knew I wanted to have a chance to not be as rushed. They didn’t mind, so I was last. When it was finally my turn though, all the guys looked really tired but Mike mentioned the “Chucks” I had on my feet and he had a big smile. They were all so gracious. Then a few seconds of just standing there staring at each other, when Mike asks something like, “What’s on your mind?” I stepped back and paused, then the words came out, “All I can think about, is that my son died by suicide.” They were all immediately engaged and Mike spoke right away. I don’t remember everything they said, just that I was impressed at their compassion and sharing Jesus the way they did.
I went to this event alone, looking for a little more peace and God provided. The guys prayed for me and I left hopeful, encouraged, and comforted; another piece of peace placed back in my heart.
I’m really thankful for this moment in time and was surprised they took so much time for me and the lady working there took so many pictures.
***
If I told you my story
You would hear victory over the enemy
And if I told you my story
You would hear freedom that was won for me
And if I told you my story
You would hear Life overcome the grave
Heir of salvation, purchase of God
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long
I’ve been trying to make sense of the sorrow that I feel
Holding on for life to the only thing that’s real
I’ve only scratched the surface, I’ve barely had a taste
But just a glimpse draws my heart to change
And one sight of you lays my sin to waste
I don’t need to see everything, just more of you
Take it all, take it all away
Magnify no other name
Open up, open up my eyes
To you
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